A long time later....

More than a year has passed since I last posted anything. I have not been without my Glimpses of Grace - as a matter of fact there have been so many  that I could never put them all together in one place. I have been along some of the most extraordinary paths of my spiritual journey in the past year. My growth has been unbelievable -  to the point of almost daily being overwhelmed by the glory of God's love.

The simple fact that I spent time reading over these blog posts tonight was in and of itself a true gift - an outpouring of God's grace that rescued me from my day. This past June, I retired from teaching - the subject of a post to come. It was truly a "God thing" - something I discerned for months, answered the call, and have not looked back. However, I still do not have a clear idea of just what it is that God wants me to do. That is now my current discernment. Today was the first time since this new school year began, that I was not specifically needed by anyone. I have been helping some friends on a regular basis, volunteering at my church and with another local organization - cultivating the community I have grown to love, feeling needed and being blessed by that feeling, taking time to be led, taking time to just listen - being available for whatever it is God wants me to do with my day. Something or someone has always presented itself each day. Until today.

My consolation has been that God has simply wanted me to be made available, that something may (or may not) eventually present itself as the reason for my retirement. This morning, though, I lost that perspective. I failed to see just why God wanted me to be available today. I wasn't miserable, just confused. I found myself totally distracted, unable to settle long enough for prayer and reflection, really not accomplishing much of anything at all. No one needed me - or so I thought.

This evening, something (Someone!) pulled me back to this blog - back to the beginning of a journey that has proven to be one of the most exciting things I have done with my life so far. The connections to what is happening in my life right now were absolutely stunning. The replies from a now dear friend as we were getting to know one another back then, the thoughts and prayers that I had over a year ago mirroring what I am currently searching within my heart, the physical connections to people I mentioned, even a song that played on the radio as I read them, and my newest background photo on my FaceBook page - they are all connected!

Through the tears streaming down my face I felt release. Someone did need me today - my friend, my love, my Savior. Jesus needed me today. Jesus needed me to remember that I did make the right decision, that I am on the right path, that I do want to follow wherever it is he will lead me. Jesus needed me to just take the time to love him. I didn't need to do anything - I just needed to allow Jesus to need me.

This morning I had one of my "wake-up calls" at 3:00am. I went out onto the deck and just stared in awe at the stars. The song "Overwhelmed" ran through my head, and I quietly sang along more than once in praise of the beauty I was witnessing. This evening I requested that song on the station I listen to regularly, and as it played I knew that I truly was overwhelmed - by the glory of creation, the many glimpses of grace throughout the day that I almost missed, and by the fact that Jesus needed me - just needed me to love him.